


How Spencer Smith Discovered He Had a Boyfriend

by lilac_one, strangecobwebs



Category: Bandom, Panic At The Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-30
Updated: 2011-08-30
Packaged: 2017-10-23 05:57:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/246978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilac_one/pseuds/lilac_one, https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangecobwebs/pseuds/strangecobwebs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was no way he could look his parents in the eyes and tell them that he was so busy with work and that his little free time was mostly tied up with Ryan and their band, that he didn’t have the time, energy, or really even the desire for a relationship. That Brendon was even busier than he was, holding down a full-time and a part-time job, making their arrangement a perfect solution for them both: great sex a couple of times of week, no commitment, no strings attached.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Spencer Smith Discovered He Had a Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Written by lilac_one and strangecobwebs; originally posted [here](http://strangecobwebs.livejournal.com/165995.html) on livejournal.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** We made the whole thing up. And if you found it by googling your own name or that of someone you know personally? For god's sake, hit the damn back button. That's what it's there for.
> 
>  **Notes:** AU. Also, we made up Spencer's family.
> 
> lilac_one was inspired by [this prompt](http://pennyplainknits.livejournal.com/306125.html?replyto=2927053) over at [Bandom Pretend Dating Festival](http://pennyplainknits.livejournal.com/306125.html). And then decided to drag me into it. By which I obviously mean she emailed me and I said, "This should TOTALLY BE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!11!" and forced my way in. :D? (Or you know, C totally carried my slacker ass when I got stuck and begged her to help write it! - lilac_one)

Spencer, like most people, had the occasional mortifying dream - showing up to work naked, making out with some hot guy only to realize it was actually Ryan (he was scarred _for life_ after that one) - so when he heard his mom’s voice exclaiming something about “in bed” and “no pants,” some small part of his brain shrugged and settled in to ride out the weirdness summoned by his subconscious. Until his bedroom door slammed. And his pillow shot straight up, nearly dumping him out of bed.

“Holy. Shit.” Brendon breathed out. “Was that your mom?!”

Spencer stared at him wide-eyed, his brain still not fully online. “Please tell me that was just a mutually shared nightmare?”

Brendon smirked as he shook his head. “Baby, we mutually share _dreams_ , not nightmares, because every time with me is too good to be true.”

“Asshole. This is not the time for bad jokes. That’s my mom out there!” Suddenly, Spencer realized exactly what he’d just said, and was wide awake faster than he’d ever been in his life. He scrambled out of bed, nearly tripping over Brendon’s pants, and hastily started gathering up their clothes from the day before, left discarded in a trail back to the door. He tossed the whole mess on the bed, then rooted through his dresser for something clean to wear. After dressing, he darted into the bathroom, never so grateful for his apartment’s master suite. His reflection in the mirror as he brushed his teeth was not comforting. He had beard burn on his neck, a mouth-shaped bruise peeking out of the collar of his t-shirt, and a horrendous combination of sex hair and bedhead. He stuck his head under the faucet to fix his hair, but there was nothing to be done about the rest.

Brendon was propped up against the head board, the sheet still tangled around his legs, watching Spencer with a gleam in eye. On a different morning, Spencer probably would have been enticed back to bed even if Brendon hadn’t looked so tempting, merely because he could probably count on one hand the number of times in the past year they had actually spent the whole night together, and Spencer loved morning sex.

And speaking of Brendon still being around...“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but last night you said you weren’t staying.”

Brendon looked sheepish. “I guess I just crashed. This week was crazy. I didn’t get more than three hours of sleep any night this week.”

“That can’t be healthy, Bren.”

“I know. I finished the project yesterday, so my hours should be better now. I’m sorry I stayed. If I hadn’t been here...”

“Dude, it’s fine. Having my mom walk in on me with someone in bed is maybe not on my list of things I ever want to happen in life, but it’ll be fine. At least we weren’t in the middle of fucking?”

Brendon laughed. “True, there is that.”

“And on that note...” Spencer squared his shoulders, “wish me luck.”

“Good luck.”

Spencer kind of marveled at how calm Brendon was. He supposed that if it had been Brendon’s mom who walked in on them, maybe he’d be freaking out more. Then again, there was no way Brendon’s parents had a key to his place because they never, ever wanted to have to see any sign that Brendon was gay.

“Fuck my life,” Spencer muttered and opened the door.

As he came down the hall towards the living room, he could hear voices. As in more than one. As in the familiar rumble that meant not only was his mom in there, his dad was, too. There was no way this wasn’t going to suck.

Keeping his voice as level as possible under the circumstances, Spencer entered the room. “Good morning.”

His parents abruptly stopped talking and turned to face Spencer, both of them crossing their arms behind their backs. “Good morning,” they chorused.

“Do you have any bleach?” his mom continued, an evil glint in her eye.

“Um, yes?”

Her smile was every bit as evil as he expected. “Please go get it, because I need to _bleach_ my _brain_.” She and his dad cracked up, leaning on each other until they were practically wheezing.

Spencer folded his arms across his chest and gave them his best bitch face while he waited for them to finish.

Eventually they wiped away their tears and quieted. “So, who’s your young man?” his mom asked lightly.

Spencer knew it was coming, but he still hadn’t figured out what to tell them. There was no way he could look his parents in the eyes and tell them that he was so busy with work and that his little free time was mostly tied up with Ryan and their band, that he didn’t have the time, energy, or really even the desire for a relationship. That Brendon was even busier than he was, holding down a full-time and a part-time job, making their arrangement a perfect solution for them both: great sex a couple of times of week, no commitment, no strings attached.

“His name is Brendon. Brendon Urie,” Spencer blurted.

She raised an eyebrow, waiting for more.

Spencer took a deep breath. “We, uh, met at work. Brendon did the music for _Combat Hell_. He’s really gifted. He can play just about every instrument ever. He works for a studio, but he freelances as a composer, too. He’s done a bunch of stuff for us.” He wasn’t even lying about any of that.

“So you’ve known him for what, over a year then?” asked his dad.

Spencer counted back in his head. It had been well over a year since they first met on the project and close to a year since the company party celebrating the launch of the game ended up launching their current arrangement, too. They’d been dancing around each other practically since they met, and the months-long build up had led to the most explosive sex of Spencer’s life. The next morning, when Brendon and Spencer were both tripping over themselves to explain to the other that neither had time for any kind of relationship, they’d agreed to take everything off the metaphorical table but sex. Which they’d then literally kept on the table.

Spencer gave himself a mental shake. Yeah, so not going there with his parents standing right there waiting. “Yeah, something like that.”

His mom narrowed her eyes. “And you didn’t think to mention him or anything in all that time?”

If looks could kill, the one his mom was sending his way would have him exploding into a thousand pieces. “No, no,” he scrambled. “This is new. We were just friends before. And I didn’t want to tell you guys about him until I was sure there was something to tell.”

Her evil look was back. “Sure looked like there was _plenty_ to tell from where I was standing.”

Spencer could feel his ears turn red as he buried his face in his hands. “Mooooom.”

“If you’re old enough to do it, you’re old enough to joke about it, Spencer. We just wish you would’ve told us that you got yourself a boyfriend. We’ve been waiting for this forever.”

Before Spencer could reply, he heard his bedroom door open. He glanced down the hall. Brendon was dressed from the waist down, his hair tamed enough to pass for intentionally messy rather than Spencer-pulls-the-fuck-out-of-it-when-Brendon-blows-him messy.

“Can I borrow this?” he whispered, waving Spencer’s pink unicorn t-shirt around. “I can’t find mine.”

Before Spencer could answer, Spencer’s mom said loudly, “Brendon, I think I have something that belongs to you.”

Spencer whipped his head around only to see Brendon’s shirt, which Spencer was pretty sure had come off in the hallway the night before, dangling from her hand. When he looked back, Brendon was staring at him wide-eyed. Spencer sighed again. “You might as well come out.”

He could hear Brendon snicker softly as he pulled the shirt on.

“Dork,” he mouthed as Brendon’s head emerged.

“You love me,” he mouthed back as he walked down the hall.

Spencer rolled his eyes and pulled Brendon into the room. “Mom, Dad, this is Brendon.”

Brendon grinned and stepped forward, first shaking his dad’s hand. “So nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.”

But when he held out his hand to Spencer’s mom, she pulled him into a hug instead. “Oh, call us Diane and Steve, please. And the pleasure is all ours.”

She released him and gave a perky smile. “Now, Spencer, we’re taking you and your boyfriend out for brunch. Go shower. You might as well just take one together and save some time. Your dad and I are hungry and want to get going!"

Steve sighed. "Do you really think them showering _together_ is going to _save_ time? Come on, be realistic."

Spencer clapped his hand over his face and pulled Brendon out of the room before he died of humiliation. Brendon looked like he was about to die of trying not to laugh. At Spencer. “Shut it,” Spencer muttered, closing the bedroom door behind him with maybe a little more force than necessary.

Brendon batted his eyelashes. “Is that any way to speak to your _boyfriend_?”

“Oh, god. I’m so sorry for getting you into this. I’m never forgetting to chain the door again!”

“Relax, Spence. It’s not like it’s a hardship to hang out with you. And also, brunch!”

“But it’s my parents!”

Brendon contemplated him for moment. “You know,” he said quietly, “considering your parents just walked in on you naked with another guy, and all they did was tease you a little and offer to feed you, that’s really...not so bad in scheme of things.”

“You’re right. Of course you’re right.” Spencer felt like even more of ass for being so insensitive. It wasn’t that Brendon’s family didn’t love him, because they did, but they just didn’t understand him. And the way they coped was by basically ignoring everything about Brendon’s life that baffled them. Which was most of it. Brendon hadn’t ever really said anything to Spencer about how he felt, but after hooking up at least twice a week for a year, Spencer could tell how much Brendon wished it was different. “Still,” he continued, “it’s as embarrassing as fuck to get busted by them, and then my mom assumed you’re my boyfriend. Which I never said, I promise. I’m so sorry.”

Brendon just laughed at him. “Calm down. I know. I heard. It’s fine. Besides, I think I’m a little hurt you wouldn’t want her to think I’m your boyfriend. Spencer Smith, if I had time, I’d be the best boyfriend ever. The _best_.”

Spencer rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you would be. If you had time, which you don’t. Neither do I. And hence our arrangement, which there is not enough money in the world to convince me to share with my parents.”

“I could see how that could be awkward. So instead, chill. It’s cool. I’m happy to pretend to be your boyfriend for free brunch. ‘S all good.”

“No, it’s beyond awkward. Let’s just get cleaned up and get this over with.” Spencer threw a towel at Brendon and turned on the shower.

***

“Didn’t expect to see you so soon,” Spencer’s dad said when they were dressed and ready to go.

Spencer turned red again. “Oh my god. You guys said you wanted me to get a boyfriend! Now you’re going to scare him away!” Brendon was not helping. He was laughing. Again. “Stop laughing! You suck!” Spencer said to him.

For an instant, everyone in the room just looked at each other. Even Spencer laughed at that one.

***

Spencer’s day didn’t get much better. Before brunch was over, his mom had weaseled Brendon’s phone away from him, put her contact information in it, and put his number into her phone. She also insisted that he come for dinner later in the week. She thought it was high time Spencer introduced Brendon to his sisters, too.

And then Spencer went to work. Which was fine, designing video games was awesome, but really, he’d just been hoping to have a lot more sex before he went into the office. That’s what Saturday mornings when Brendon stayed were for.

***

“I’m starting to think my family likes Brendon more than me,” Spencer complained. “They’re telling him stuff before they tell me. How is it right that I found out about Jenny’s showcase from him? She’s my sister. Shouldn’t she have called me first?”

“Uh-hmm,” Ryan said, not even pretending to pay attention to Spencer’s crisis.

“ _Ryan_ ,” Spencer said sharply.

Ryan didn’t look up from his book. “Everyone likes your boyfriend more than you, blah, blah, blah. I heard you. A million times.”

“He’s not actually my boyfriend. We don’t have time to be boyfriends. You know this. You’re, like, the only person who knows this.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Well, I didn’t tell anyone it’s fake, and I’m pretty sure Brendon hasn’t either. Have you?”

Ryan rolled his eyes so hard it looked like it might actually hurt. “You are such a clueless fucktard.”

“What?!”

“Spencer,” he said in his most irritatingly patronizing voice, “how long ago did you parents walk in on you guys?”

“Like three months or something.”

“And how often have you and Brendon had to pretend to be dating in that time?”

Spencer did a count. “We’ve had a bunch of family dinners, he came to my great-aunt Sally’s retirement party, and my parents took us to the symphony once. And we just got an invitation to my cousin’s wedding that was addressed to both of us.”

“And how’d things go?”

“I’m not following.”

“Obviously. Your dates.” Ryan made finger quotes. “Did they suck?”

“No, they were fine. Everyone loves Brendon. That’s what started all this. As you would know if you paid attention.”

“Oh, I’m paying attention all right. Are you?”

“What the fuck, Ryan?”

“Sometimes, you really are the dumbest guy I know. If ‘dating’ Brendon is such a hassle, why haven’t you just told your family that you guys broke up?”

Spencer opened his mouth to reply, but found he had no answer. “I guess I hadn’t actually thought of that,” he said.

“Maybe you should think about it.”

Spencer did for a few moments. “You know that’s actually a pretty good idea! I’ll just tell everyone we called it quits and then life can get back to normal.”

Ryan just hit himself on the forehead with his book.

***

“Hey, so I was talking to Ryan earlier and he came up with a great solution to our problem,” Spencer told Brendon a couple days later. It was the first time they’d gotten together in almost a week because they’d both been so busy. So far that night there had been handjobs in the foyer, blowjobs in the shower, and combinations thereof in the living room. At the moment, though, they were in the kitchen in their underwear eating leftover Chinese.

“What problem?” Brendon asked. “We have a problem?”

“That one where my entire family thinks we’re actually dating? You stuck with getting annoying texts from my mom and my sisters, getting invited to boring family functions... Ring any bells?”

“Oh, right. They’re not really annoying, though. I really don’t mind,” Brendon said.

“Oh, because it’s so much fun to have to pretend we’re dating all the time.”

“Well, your family’s pretty cool, and you’re not so bad. It’s not torture or anything.”

“Whatever you say,” Spencer said in a tone that spoke of a lifetime of being annoyed by his family. “Anyway, Ryan’s idea.”

“Yes, what _does_ Ross have in mind?”

“We should just break up!” Spencer said. He expected Brendon’s smile to match his own. After all, Spencer had gotten Brendon into this mess. And now, he was finally giving him a way out.

“You want to stop seeing each other?” Brendon asked flatly.

Spencer was a little hesitant and he couldn’t really read Brendon’s tone. Maybe Brendon wouldn’t want to keep up the casual non-relationship after all Spencer’s stupid family put him through. “Well, I thought we could tell my family we’re not dating anymore, to, you know, let you off the hook, but maybe we could, you know, still...”

“Fuck?” Brendon said with a weird little smile.

“Yeah.”

“If you’re old enough to do it, you’re old enough to say it, Spencer,” Brendon said solemnly.

“Fuck off,” was Spencer’s eloquent response. “I just thought you might want to stop getting bugged by my family.”

“Oh,” was all Brendon said. He stared at the table for a moment. And then, “Oh! What about your cousin’s wedding? We already RSVPed yes.”

“Oh, right. Will you still go with me to that?”

“Of course!” Brendon actually seemed a little bit excited, which Spencer thought was a little weird. Then again, he mostly thought Brendon was a little weird. At the same time, he felt decidedly relieved. About what, though, he wasn’t sure. Maybe because Spencer’s family obligations were always less of a hassle with Brendon there to trade snarky comments with. But even though it was better for Spencer, it wasn’t fair to keep forcing Brendon to pretend to be dating him. The right thing to do was to get Brendon clear of his family. So he said, “Thanks, man. And then we can break up after.”

“Yeah, sure, that’s fine,” Brendon said distractedly. He seemed preoccupied with making sure he got every single grain of fried rice there was.

Spencer nodded. “Okay,” he said mostly to himself. He grabbed a fortune cookie and cracked it open. “Oh, look. It says ‘He who gets up the stairs first receives a blowjob’!”

Brendon looked up with a smirk on his face. They looked at each other, silently challenging, until some invisible flag was dropped and they simultaneously pushed back from the table and ran for the stairs.

Spencer let Brendon win.

***

Spencer took a long swallow of his beer, the cool liquid refreshing in the warm room. He was trying to decide if he could loosen his tie without catching hell from his mom when his great-aunt Sally caught his eye with a smile and nod.

Still half-debating the tie issue, he wandered over to give her a kiss on the cheek. “How are you doing, Aunt Sally? Can I get you anything?”

“That’s so sweet of you to ask, but your young man just went to get me some water. He’s very considerate,” Sally gushed.

Spencer wasn’t surprised. Brendon had always been a generous lover, but in the past months Spencer had seen how that translated to life outside the bedroom, too. His mother was forever making up little jobs to keep Brendon busy so she could say yes when he inevitably offered to help in the kitchen. At family functions, he always made a point to seek out Spencer’s oldest and youngest relatives to spend time with them. And he was forever reminding Spencer to call or email various friends and family for the little things, like when someone had a success at work, or had been feeling down. “He is,” Spencer agreed.

Aunt Sally got a sly look in her eye, one that Spencer often saw in his own mother. “And I assume that holds true in the bedroom as well?”

If Spencer hadn’t been holding his beer, he’d have buried his burning face in his hands. And if he had been drinking it, he would have spit it out. “Honestly. What is wrong with you people? Why would you want to know that?”

“Oh, honey. We just want you to be happy. And good sex is an important part of a healthy relationship,” Sally said placidly. “If you can’t talk about it -”

“I shouldn’t be doing it,” interrupted Spencer. “You are the worst aunt ever. You totally corrupted my mom, too.”

“She learned at the feet of a master,” said Sally complacently. “Oh, look. Marie and Bill are dancing. Don’t they make such a lovely couple?”

Spencer finished off his beer as he glanced over at the dance floor, grateful for the excuse to see if anyone else had ditched their neckwear yet. His cousin did look radiant and her new husband was beaming at her like he just won first place at life. Spencer would never admit it, but seeing them gave him a little faith that love was real. But his tie still felt like it was choking him, so he resumed his search for open shirt collars, only half listened to his aunt.

“So, Brendon, he makes you happy?”

“Mmm-hmm,” murmured Spencer, craning his neck to see if Uncle Joe really had lost his tie with his jacket.

“Good. And who knows? Maybe you’ll be next,” she added.

“Yeah, hopefully,” Spencer said absently. Joe’s tie was off! He turned back to set his empty on the table next to Sally so he had both hands free to finally take off his tie and met Brendon’s very wide eyes from where he was standing next to Sally with her water.

Suddenly, he realized exactly what he’d said. What Brendon had obviously overheard. And exactly how much he actually meant it. Ryan was right; he was a clueless fucktard. And Brendon was still just his pretend boyfriend.

At the periphery of vision, he could see Sally smugly looking between the two of them, eyes locked on each other. “Thanks for the water, Brendon. Oh, there’s Missy. I need to go say hi,” she said, leaving them alone.

“Um,” Spencer said, just to break the silence. “I guess you heard that, huh?”

Brendon just nodded, his expression aiming for casual, but Spencer could tell it was his poker face.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! I know it’s not real. We’re fake! And it’s good. Everything’s fine, right?” Spencer sounded slightly hysterical even to his own ears. And also like he was protesting just this side of too much.

Brendon’s eyes softened, everything in them right there for Spencer to see. He finally allowed himself to acknowledge that Brendon had been looking at him like that for ages and he’d been looking right back the exact same way. And he truly was a dumbass if Ryan Ross, Sultan of Self-Absorbed, had known so much before Spencer figured it out himself. He wanted to say something, anything, to let Brendon know he’d finally gotten his head out of his ass, but he was still stunned by the revelation. And slightly, kind of, a lot terrified.

Brendon, though. Brendon was brave, and knew, as always, exactly what Spencer needed. He took the few short steps right into Spencer’s space. “Spence,” he said quietly, taking Spencer’s hand in his. “Everything is fine. Just like this.”

Being close to Brendon, his hand warm and familiar and safe in Spencer’s, his scent comforting and slightly exciting at once, allowed Spencer’s brain to function, such as it was, again. “So do you wanna?” Spencer blurted.

And okay, maybe his brain wasn’t working.

“Do I wanna...?” Brendon repeated, clearly tracking back their conversation to figure what the hell Spencer was talking about. Suddenly, Brendon’s eyes got big and shocked again. “Did you just propose, Spencer Smith?”

“Um, maybe?” Spencer managed to squeak out.

Brendon grinned, wide and open. “That is the lamest proposal in the history of ever. A girl wants a story she can share with her grandchildren. And you don’t even have a ring!”

“Asshole.”

“You love me,” Brendon shot back.

“I do,” answered Spencer. And it felt so right to have it out in the open that he couldn’t help saying it again. “Seriously, I do. I love you.”

Brendon’s smile got impossibly bigger. “I think I’ve know that longer than you have, you oblivious fuck.”

“I declare my love and you call me names. Nice,” said Spencer, feigning offence.

“I love you, too, even though you really are an oblivious fuck.”

Spencer basked in that for moment, then wrapped his free hand around the back of Brendon’s neck and pulled Brendon in, unable to resist kissing him slow and deep in spite of the fact that they were in the middle of a room full of Spencer’s family.

Before it could go too far, he remembered. He broke the kiss, and touched his forehead to Brendon’s. “So, hey. You never answered my question.”

Brendon looked surprised. “You were serious?”

Spencer nodded.

Brendon looked thoughtful. “How about this? Let’s try dating when you actually _know_ we’re dating. If it goes as well as I’m thinking it will, then we can tell your family and pick a date.”

“So engaged to be engaged?” Spencer suggested, trying not to feel too disappointed. Brendon was being sensible, and since Spencer really wasn’t, under the circumstances, it was a good thing.

“Exactly!” Brendon giggled, then said solemnly. “I expect a diamond the size of a marble.”

Spencer snorted. “Yeah, right. You can shove that marble-”

“Excuse me,” Diane interrupted.

“Yes, Mom?” Spencer answered, not giving in to Brendon’s half-assed effort to face her, instead gently running thumb over the shell of Brendon’s ear, earning a low intake of breath and a warning look.

“It’s time to stop sucking face and dance with me,” she announced.

Brendon hid his face in Spencer’s neck. The tiny huffs of air hitting his neck with each laugh was distracting in the best possible way, leaving Spencer to answer her while simultaneously caressing Brendon’s neck. Spencer was an awesome multitasker. “Sucking face? Really? 1980 called and wants its slang back.”

“You weren’t even alive in 1980, you disrespectful little brat. Just for that, I’m not dancing with you anymore. I’m dancing with Brendon. I love him more than you; he’s my favorite son.”

Brendon did pull away this time, taking Diane by the hand and kissing her on the cheek. “Aw, you’re my favorite, too.”

“Traitor,” he jokingly hissed at Brendon. “And you. See if I let you walk me down the aisle at the wedding now.”

“Don’t listen to him. You can walk me!” Brendon said gleefully.

Diane narrowed her eyes at them. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Nope, not yet. But when there is, you’ll be the first to know,” said Brendon, leading her towards the dance floor.

“Or the seventeenth,” Spencer muttered after them.

“I heard that!” his mom retorted.

Brendon said cheerily, “Don’t worry, _Mom_ , you’ll be _my_ first call.”

“Yeah, you can help him pick out his dress.”

“I always wanted to be mother of the bride. Mother of the groom is no fun.”

“You can help me choose the colors, and the flowers and the food...” Brendon babbled until they danced out of earshot.

Spencer watched them for a moment, feeling totally relaxed and satisfied in a way he couldn’t ever remember. Then he slipped his phone out of his pocket.

_Am no longer clueless fucktard_

_Fucking finally! What happnd?_

_U wanna b my best man?_

Spencer was going to pay for that later. But right now, he was going to finally take off his fucking tie, go steal his boyfriend back from his mother, and sneak in as much making out as they could get away with while they danced.

***  
Epilogue:

They’d been married for over a year when Spencer found it. He was looking for his iPod, which Brendon had borrowed the day before. Brendon claimed it was on his nightstand, but Spencer didn’t see it, so he opened the drawer to check there. Among the condoms and lube was Spencer’s iPod (luckily for Brendon because Spencer would have been pissed if he couldn’t find it) and a little notebook opened to a random page. Spencer, curious guy that he was, took it out to read it. His eyes widened when he saw what was on the page. “Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me!” he said out loud.

It was a list of dates:  
met - 3/12/10  
first time we had sex - 6/18/10  
day we started dating but Spencer didn’t realize it - 3/12/11  
day we started fake dating - 5/28/11  
day Spencer figured out we were dating for real - 9/10/11  
first time we had mutually-acknowledged in-love sex - 9/10/11  
first actual date - 9/17/11  
day Spencer asked me to marry him for real - 2/12/12  
wedding - 11/24/12

Spencer ran downstairs to the kitchen where Brendon was making a sandwich. “You bastard!” he said. He was totally going to keep a straight face for this conversation.

Brendon didn’t bother turning around. “What? Spence, I swear I left your iPod on my nightstand!”

“Oh yeah, I found that. It was in the drawer of your nightstand though. Along with this!” Spencer held the notebook up.

Brendon turned to look. “Oh, _that_!” he said with a small laugh. “I guess you figured out my secret.”

“Yes. Yes, I did! You had me thinking that you remembered every single type of anniversary you could come up with and that I was a terrible husband for not remembering more than our wedding day! That’s just mean!”

“And funny!” Brendon defended himself.

It really kind of was. Spencer couldn’t keep the laughter in any longer. “Fine. Funny. I know you didn’t actually remember most of those dates though, besides, like, my cousin’s wedding and our wedding. Did you randomly pick the rest?”

Brendon looked a little sheepish. “No, those are the actual dates. I kind of went through my calendar one day and um, figured them out?”

“Aww, that’s kind of sweet. In a douchey kind of way.” Spencer tore the page out of the notebook and stuck it on the fridge. “There!” he said. “Now we’ll both remember all of our ridiculous anniversaries. But you still suck. And you owe me.”

“I know I do, baby.” Brendon backed Spencer up until he hit the refrigerator, his hands on Spencer’s hips, his lips on Spencer’s neck. “How about I make it up to you by sucking some more?”

“That _might_ help,” Spencer said even as he was unbuckling his own belt.

“Good,” was the last thing Brendon said for a while.

Like always, Spencer forgave Brendon pretty quickly after that. So what if it made him kind of easy? He had the funniest, hottest husband who apologized with _blowjobs_. That was a pretty big win for a guy dumb enough to think they were faking it for months. Spencer would take it.


End file.
